My Conversation

I always feel like I need to have a disclaimer when it comes to certain posts.  The following is a conversation that I've been having with God lately.  I've really been wrestling Him on this issue, and I can't seem to win.  Perhaps, that's the point...


Me:  Ok, Father.  You know that I have been having issues with certain things and people in my life.  I have asked for a clear cut sign on what to do with them.  You definitely gave them to me, but why am I feeling this way? 

Abba: In what way?

Me: I feel empty. 

Abba:  I gave you what you needed. 

Me: But this isn't what I want... 

Abba: Sometimes, what you want really isn't what you need.  I know what you need in your life.  I know what is best for you, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

Me: But why am I feeling so empty and discouraged??

Abba:  You placed these things above me.  You sought fulfillment in something that only filled a void temporarily.  That thing wasn't perfect, and it failed you.  Why would you want to fully place your trust in something that will fail you eventually? 

Me:  Because it's something instant.

Abba:  Exactly.  But you have to remember that instant gratification is usually only temporary.  Let's apply it to this scenario: You are wanting to be a healthier person, right?  What will it take to become this way?  You can't do a crash-course diet plan, because eventually, you're either going to gain the weight back, or it's going to hurt you internally in the long run.  You eat right and you exercise.  You don't see the results right now, but over time, you will see how your body changes on the outside, how you feel on the inside, and how your heart becomes so much stronger over time.   

Me:  But why does this have to hurt?

Abba:  Again, it's like training:  Your muscles are going to be sore for a while, but do you quit?  No.  you endure through it and make them even stronger.  This life is hard, I know it is.  I know the pain you are feeling because my heart hurts when your heart hurts.  But I don't want you to give up.  You have Me.  I am in your corner.  I am right there with you, every step of the way.  When you are feeling weak, I will make you strong.  If you didn't know pain, you wouldn't know the pure joy that will follow.  I will give you perfect peace.  This is another opportunity for you to know Me and come closer to Me.  We will get through this.  Together.