It's Quite a Read

It has been a very long time since I have written in this.  I very much apologize to my readers and followers.

Be prepared.  This is a long blog entry.

Last Thursday, my divorce was finalized.  In the eyes of the court, I am an officially single woman.  *cheers*  I never thought that I would honestly be this happy about it, but to my surprise, I am.  It's like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.  I am very thankful we did not have children, because I am going to be honest, the man is a jerk, and I don't want to deal with him for the rest of his or my existence.  So, we said our goodbyes last Thursday when he called me for the (hopefully) final time.  He told me, "Goodbye Ellen.  I hope you have a nice life."  I said the same thing back to him, and I wanted to say more, call him every name in the book, but my tongue froze on me.  I guess now that I look at it, I would consider it divine intervention because my human side just wanted to rip him a new one.  However, what good would that have done?  Absolutely nothing.  It would have accomplished nothing.   Well, goodbye, Mr. K. 

Which leads me to a few thoughts of my own.   

What is forgiveness?  How do we truly forgive people?  Why is forgiveness so hard?  Do we really forgive someone if an incident occurs, and that incident keeps being brought up by the other party as a trump card?  How is it that we can say, “I forgive you,” when all that you do is bringing it up again and again?  Psalm 103:12 states, "...as far as the east is from the west,so far has he removed our transgressions from us."  Are we not to show the same example to those around us who have wronged us?

Let's take a look at Matthew 18:21-35.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.  Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.   My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” 

Whew.  Wow.  That's a lot to take in.  I have been on quite a journey that last seven weeks when it has come to forgiveness.  But let's get deeper in to this passage.  I have found quite an insight on this passage of Scripture, thus, the following is not written by me. 

The disciples had been squabbling about pre-eminence in the kingdom which they thought was presently to appear. They had ventured to refer their selfish and ambitious dispute to Christ's arbitrament. He answered by telling them the qualifications of 'the greatest in the kingdom'—that they are to be humble like little children; that they are to be placable; that they are to use all means to reclaim offenders; and that, even if the offence is against themselves, they are to ignore the personal element, and to regard the offender, not so much as having done them harm, as having harmed himself by his evil-doing.

Peter evidently feels that that is a very hard commandment for a man of his temperament, and so he goes to Jesus Christ for a little further direction, and proposes a question as to the limits of this disposition: 'How often shall my brother sin?' The very question betrays that he does not understand what forgiveness means; for it is not real, if the 'forgiven' sin is stowed away safely in the memory. 'I can forgive, but I cannot forget,' generally means, 'I do not quite forgive.' We are not to take the pardoned offence, and carry it to a kind of 'suspense account,' to be revived if another is committed, but we are to blot it out altogether. Peter thought that he had given a very wide allowance when he said 'seven times.' Christ's answer lifts the whole subject out of the realm of hard and fast lines and limits, for He takes the two perfect numbers 'ten' and 'seven,' and multiplies them together, and then He multiplies that by 'seven' once more; and the product is not four hundred and ninety, but is innumerableness. He does not mean that the four hundred and ninety-first offence is outside the pale, but He suggests indefiniteness, endlessness. So, as I say, He lifts the question out of the region in which Peter was keeping it, thereby betraying that he did not understand what he was talking about, and tells us that there are no limits to the obligation.

A certain king has servants, whom he gathers together to give in their reckoning. And one of them is brought that owes him ten thousand talents. Now, it is to be noticed at the very outset that the analogy between debt and sin, though real, is extremely imperfect. No metaphor of that sort goes on all fours, and there has been a great deal of harm done to theology and to evangelical religion by carrying out too completely the analogy between money debts and our sins against God. But although the analogy is imperfect, it is very real. The first point that is to be brought out in this first part of the parable is the immense magnitude of every man's transgressions against God. Numismatists and arithmeticians may jangle about the precise amount represented by the thousand talents. It differs according to the talent which is taken as the basis of the calculation. There were several talents in use in the currency of ancient days. But the very point of the expression is not the specification of an exact amount, but the use of a round number which is to suggest an undefined magnitude. 'Ten thousand talents,' according to one estimate, is some two millions and a quarter of pounds sterling.  But I would point out that the amount is stated in terms of talents, and any talent is a large sum; and there are ten thousand of these; and the reason why the account is made out in terms of talents, the largest denomination in the currency of the period, is because every sin against God is a great sin. He being what He is, and we being what we are, and sin being what it is, every sin is large, although the deed which embodies it may be, when measured by the world's foot-rule, very small. For the essence of sin is rebellion against God and the enthroning of self as His victorious rival; and all rebellion is rebellion, whether it is found in arms in the field, or whether it is simply sulkily refusing obedience and cherishing thoughts of treason. We are always apt to go wrong in our estimate of the great and small in human actions, and, although the terms of magnitude do not apply properly to moral questions at all, there is no more conspicuous misuse of language than when we speak of anything which has in it the virus of rebellion against God, and the breach of His law, as being a small sin. It may be a small act; it is a great sin. Little rattlesnakes are snakes; they have rattles and poison fangs as really as the most monstrous of the brood that coils and hisses in some cave. So the account is made out in terms of talents, because every sin is a great one. I need not dwell upon the numerousness that is suggested. 'Ten thousand' is the natural current expression for a number that is not innumerable, but is only known to be very great. The psalmist says: 'They are more than the hairs of my head.' How many hairs had you in your head, David? Do you know? 'No!' And how many sins have you committed? Do you know? 'No!' The number is beyond count by us, though it may be counted by Him against whom they are done. Do you believe that about yourself, my friend, that the debit side of your account has filled all the page and has to be carried forward on to another? Do we any of us realize, as we all of us ought to do, the infinite number, and the transcendent greatness, of our transgressions against the Father?

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Mind.  Blown.  There is quite a bit more on this matter, but I wanted to end on this point. 

Forgiveness is like a gift.  What is the point of giving a gift?  Is it so that you are expecting something in return?  I would hope not.  Notice that one little word in “forgiveness.”  You give.  You don’t expect anything in return.  Forgiveness may (and should) be granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender.  That is true forgiveness.