Rethinking

Once again, it's been a while since I have written.  I have been meaning to write, and usually my inspiration comes at a time when it's most inconvenient, such as, driving.  That's when I do most of my thinking, and well, since I can't really write and drive at the same time, it's become quite a  hassle to keep my readers updated.  But, there's a reason why I am writing this post...

In three days, it would have been R's and my two year wedding anniversary.  In three days, R and I would have been celebrating another year of marital bliss....or not.  (It wasn't exactly, "bliss.")  Instead, I am sitting here, thinking about what could have been. In fact, today, my bestie and I went to go see the new movie, "What to Expect When You're Expecting."  It was hilarious, but there were a few moments where I flashed to where I could have been one of those women, with her husband, expecting a baby right now.  I thought to myself, "Where did I go wrong?  Why am I not one of those women?"  I silently cried to myself, and throwing a little bit of a pity party. 

After doing a little bit of praying, I cried to God, "What happened to my plan?  Why wasn't my plan good enough for You?"  His reply?  "Because your plan isn't My plan.  I have something so much better for you.  I know the pain you're feeling.  I feel it, too.  I know the desires of your heart, as I am the One who created you.  But just wait.  Keep turning to Me in your time of need, and I will grant you the peace you deserve." 

So, I guess my question is to myself:  When May 22, 2012 comes around, how are you going to react?  My answer?  With joy.  And I am not saying that because I am divorced.  I am saying that because God has shown me true joy by turning to Him always in my time with need in knowing that He will never let me go.